All is Well

Been doing a lot this summer. YouTube, working full-time, making money, spending it too.

Have learned a lot and come a long way in the span of 12 months. Going back to school soon; will be doing YouTube, my part-time job, full-time school, and possibly an internship. Definitely will be busy with my gf and personal affairs, not to mention finances and my hobbies like my YouTube channel and such.

Being busy is the key to life. All is well. So far, so good.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.


Gore by Deftones

Gore by Deftones represents an album that is fully representative of a band that has matured and aged and, with them getting older, their style of music has transformed and morphed.

It takes influences from a broad spectrum of their albums, most people saying it resembles White Pony in its tone and riffs. I would not disagree.

Some songs are heavy, with Doomed User perhaps being their most “thrashy” song on the album, but some of their songs, like Phantom Bride, have an almost “Digital Bath” feeling: melodic yet strong, passionate yet quiet.

For me, Doomed User, Hearts/Wires, and Rubicon stand out to me, along with Phantom Bride, as some of the best tracks Deftones has produced on the album, and Hearts/Wires, Rubicon, and Phantom Bride can even be attributed to be some of their greatest pieces of their discography. They are beautiful, potent, and cunning in their percussion, guitar riffs, and vocal force and whisk the listener away into a realm of alternative metal, filled with strong and powerful lyrics and a sound resonating with an opulence that can hardly be similar to other rock bands of this or even previous generations of the past two decades.

Gore proves that Deftones are still the rock band we know and love, but they are also a group that has grown emotionally, musically, and structurally, their music taking on experimental forms with melody and sound that few bands care or can care to replicate or try. I absolutely recommend this album.


End of the Beginning

Well, just started the last quarter of my freshman year of college.

Feels anti-climactic, but it’s an important step in going to where I want to go.

Gotta pass my undergraduate years with flying colors, go to law school (hopefully here at UC Davis) and get a J.D.; I’ve been exploring doing a joint MA/J.D. program here, which takes four years instead of the usual three for a law degree.

Definitely would be cool to have a bachelor’s and master’s in Political Science and be a Doctor of Jurisprudence.

Bills are ok; family is doing ok; health and the cat are ok; I guess everything in life is… really good actually. Gonna get my new gaming computer soon, I have a job, I have school, I have my girlfriend, I have a family, a roof over my head: I have everything people have dreamt of for centuries. The little peasant boy in rural England in the 1400s couldn’t have imagined having what I have; the small Arab girl who saw six “Presidents” rule her country in six years couldn’t have imagined what I have.

I feel ever so grateful for what I have, but also quite disturbed that there are some, plenty of people in fact, who will never experience the fortunes that I have. Sweat, tears, and blood have been spilled in trying to get me all of the things that I have in my life, and it is a shame that this is not true for some other peoples of this world.

It’s a feeling that makes you feel remarkably human.

A.N. Lopez


Update on Gaming and The Portfolio

Hey guys,

Quick update on the portfolio: I have moved some things around, streamlined some things, and added Twitter feeds and social media links into the sidebar.

Twitter is arguably the best way to keep in touch with me anywhere, so be sure to follow me on Twitter!

In addition, I’ve got some new, quick videos highlighting what I am doing on my YouTube channel and when and what I will be recording. Check them out below!


Started Making Let’s Plays

Quick update: it’s been a while.

Still in college at the University of California, Davis. Majoring in Political Science – Public Service. Working. Studying. Doing my scholarly thing.

Have been more involved in politics than ever, but also gaming! Got a new gaming computer, started streaming and recording Let’s Play videos. For now, it’s just Total War. Don’t want to make it a business, I just do it for fun.

Will be back soon with more info and reflections.


A Brave New World

College. An apartment. A new life. A brave new world.

I have moved to Davis, California where I will be attending the University of California, Davis. I am pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science – Public Service.

It’s a strange feeling: I moved in on September 3rd and I have found a job on campus. I am in what I refer to as a “lame duck” period: the period between when you move into your dwelling for college and when school actually starts.

I have only a glimpse of what life will be like when I am pursuing my education, but the implications are profound and compelling: I am becoming my own man. My parents are paying for my rent and I must come up with the rest of the money that supports me (not limited to electricity and gas, food for both myself and my pet, gas money, car maintenance money among other things).

I feel that college is going to be a transforming experience, but not in the way most people think; I have always wanted to be on my own and prove my knowledge and my resolve to the world. I feel that the position I am in right now in life is the place where that is going to happen: I can only sink or swim.

I ponder how many other kids feel like they are in the same predicament as I, or whether they feel anything like that at all. I must admit my first few days here on my own seemed a bit lonely and solitary, but I realized quickly that solitude and independence are things not easily taken for granted: it costs to possess such things, but the rewards are scarcely imaginable. Being on my own and being responsible for my own rewards as well as my own mistakes is important in the development of any adult; it occurred to me that some adults do not even go through the transformation I feel I am partaking in now. There are plenty of adults who either do not possess independence or who do not appreciate solitude.

I do my best to be a responsible, disciplined young man. I do not find that I will be partying much, as I have always been the scholarly and solitary type of guy. While this does not mean that I am not sociable (I feel I have competence among the plebeians) it does mean that I prefer to partake in endeavours that don’t require other people around. I often come home after work in the blistering afternoon heat and play with my pet, make food to eat, play on my computer or read some books and essays that I have from my voluminous possession of literature. I feel that this, along with my schoolwork, will usher in a new era of scholarly development and progress from the confines of my curiosity and mind.

In addition, I am to not only be partaking in studies here at the University but also the United States Army Reserve Officer’s Training Corps, a college-centered program that trains cadets for a life in the United States Army as a commissioned officer. I have decided to set the objective of going to law school and being an attorney for the United States Army for myself: while I do not know if the future has such a fate in store for me, I find that this is a good route to take considering my skills not only in the study of history but also in the study of war.

To be truthful, for a long time in my youth I had dreamt of a career in the military. I have always known that history and war were too things I not only enjoyed but I was also good at. Here, I feel a synthesis of my interests and skills is taking place: law and war. While they can both exist independently, it is an interesting combination when the subjects collide, and it is only when they are both in the same realm that humanity and its foundations are elevated to a different height of enlightenment.

I feel that if there is to be someone in the position to uphold law, and also there must be someone to take life and to command it, it would be myself. I feel that is a burden, an obligation, that I must take upon myself to perhaps prevent lives from being lost, a prisoner wrongfully imprisoned, or a conflict wrongfully started. Napoleon was once in the same position and so was Adolf Hitler: I would be in the same realm as them but I would that I don’t carry out the same mistakes they did in the field of battle.

So much has changed in our world since their times: still today are we affected by what they did and the decisions they made. There will always be individuals like themselves, but it is what they believe in that is important. I believe in law, and I believe in life. If someone has to be in a position of power to make war in order to end it, or if one must be in a position to advise those who make war, I would it be me in that position, even if it may cost me my life. I know that I would hold in high esteem the law and life.

There is a brave new world out there.

A.N. Lopez


You Are Gone

I see your face everywhere; you are always in my heart and in my mind, but in real life, you are gone.

We don’t talk anymore; we used to all the time, but things changed. I remember what I used to imagine about us. I used to imagine us growing old together; taking you to ball and kissing you under a starlit sky. I used to imagine our kids and what it would be like to have them running around while we were trying to keep our minds sane.

I imagined the night I proposed to you. When you were gone for so long, I would still see your face everywhere. In my dreams and my nightmares. I looked at other people and saw only you, and the pain returned to my heart.

It took me a long time to realize how the dreams of childhood became the suffering of adolescence. It is when we grow older that we see the reality of things, and I realized how much you had changed. It broke my heart more times than I can say.

I realize now that one day we will never see eachother again; I will only see you in my thoughts. You will walk beside me every day when you have not been in the flesh for years; I would think about you and wonder where you are and what places you would visit and the man you would marry; I would wonder if you ever thought about me or if you had ever thought we might have had a chance.

The joy of love lasts but a moment; the pain of love lasts a lifetime.

A.N. Lopez