College. An apartment. A new life. A brave new world.
I have moved to Davis, California where I will be attending the University of California, Davis. I am pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science – Public Service.
It’s a strange feeling: I moved in on September 3rd and I have found a job on campus. I am in what I refer to as a “lame duck” period: the period between when you move into your dwelling for college and when school actually starts.
I have only a glimpse of what life will be like when I am pursuing my education, but the implications are profound and compelling: I am becoming my own man. My parents are paying for my rent and I must come up with the rest of the money that supports me (not limited to electricity and gas, food for both myself and my pet, gas money, car maintenance money among other things).
I feel that college is going to be a transforming experience, but not in the way most people think; I have always wanted to be on my own and prove my knowledge and my resolve to the world. I feel that the position I am in right now in life is the place where that is going to happen: I can only sink or swim.
I ponder how many other kids feel like they are in the same predicament as I, or whether they feel anything like that at all. I must admit my first few days here on my own seemed a bit lonely and solitary, but I realized quickly that solitude and independence are things not easily taken for granted: it costs to possess such things, but the rewards are scarcely imaginable. Being on my own and being responsible for my own rewards as well as my own mistakes is important in the development of any adult; it occurred to me that some adults do not even go through the transformation I feel I am partaking in now. There are plenty of adults who either do not possess independence or who do not appreciate solitude.
I do my best to be a responsible, disciplined young man. I do not find that I will be partying much, as I have always been the scholarly and solitary type of guy. While this does not mean that I am not sociable (I feel I have competence among the plebeians) it does mean that I prefer to partake in endeavours that don’t require other people around. I often come home after work in the blistering afternoon heat and play with my pet, make food to eat, play on my computer or read some books and essays that I have from my voluminous possession of literature. I feel that this, along with my schoolwork, will usher in a new era of scholarly development and progress from the confines of my curiosity and mind.
In addition, I am to not only be partaking in studies here at the University but also the United States Army Reserve Officer’s Training Corps, a college-centered program that trains cadets for a life in the United States Army as a commissioned officer. I have decided to set the objective of going to law school and being an attorney for the United States Army for myself: while I do not know if the future has such a fate in store for me, I find that this is a good route to take considering my skills not only in the study of history but also in the study of war.
To be truthful, for a long time in my youth I had dreamt of a career in the military. I have always known that history and war were too things I not only enjoyed but I was also good at. Here, I feel a synthesis of my interests and skills is taking place: law and war. While they can both exist independently, it is an interesting combination when the subjects collide, and it is only when they are both in the same realm that humanity and its foundations are elevated to a different height of enlightenment.
I feel that if there is to be someone in the position to uphold law, and also there must be someone to take life and to command it, it would be myself. I feel that is a burden, an obligation, that I must take upon myself to perhaps prevent lives from being lost, a prisoner wrongfully imprisoned, or a conflict wrongfully started. Napoleon was once in the same position and so was Adolf Hitler: I would be in the same realm as them but I would that I don’t carry out the same mistakes they did in the field of battle.
So much has changed in our world since their times: still today are we affected by what they did and the decisions they made. There will always be individuals like themselves, but it is what they believe in that is important. I believe in law, and I believe in life. If someone has to be in a position of power to make war in order to end it, or if one must be in a position to advise those who make war, I would it be me in that position, even if it may cost me my life. I know that I would hold in high esteem the law and life.
There is a brave new world out there.