Reflections

The Boy Who Kissed the Girl

At some point or another, every boy and every man has his morals and principles and ideas on love and affection and marriage tested when a certain little lady comes along and arouses him beyond the point of temperance. One question pops up in his mind: is this right?

This breaks down into multiple levels, but to keep it simple, one must have an idea of what is right or wrong. Who decides what is right or wrong? God? The individual? Society?

In essence, one can look at right and wrong from this point of view: something pleasurable and fun can be not exactly right or virtuous, but something fun and pleasurable does not have to consist of anybody getting hurt, making it not exactly wrong. When a man makes out with a woman who is not his wife or girlfriend or significant other (or perhaps goes even farther!) is it to be considered a wrong or shameful act?

This is something I cannot answer in this reflection: my answer is uncalled for and irrelevant. While that does not mean I don’t have an answer, I ask the reader to reflect in themselves on their own morals and principles. In this day and age, men and women “hook up” and have one-night stands and make out and have sexual relations all the time, spontaneously, with someone they might barely know. Is it right or wrong to do so? That’s up to the individual.

Who formulates this standard of right and wrong? The individual. Who judges the individual and their actions? I would say, in a most certain tone, almost everybody. Some find spontaneous sexual relations wrong and shameful and that one is a “player” or “whore” for participating in such actions, while others may find it to be just perfectly normal and fine and acceptable for men and women to have these relations; note that “everyone” consists of both men and women, for all men and women are different.

Now, for the sake of argument and necessity of evidence and subject, I will use myself as an example to make a point: I am, in a societal point of view, an average, perhaps slightly above or below average male who has hormones and possesses a taste for feminine flesh. I masturbate, hold the door open for women, have thoughts of sexual relations with women, yet respect the space and dignity and feelings and presence of women wherever I go. I treat women well and rarely disrespect one from any sort of sexist or even behavioral standard, and most women I know would describe me to be a “nice, respectful, attractive, and good guy”. Now, a key question must be brought up: if I had relations with a girl who is not in any way romantically involved with me, does this not make me a good guy? Does this not make me a good man?

Interesting question. Another way to look at it would be from a women’s perspective: is a girl who has relations with a man simply out of her desire to do so considered a “whore” or “hoe” or “slut”? Is she considered “easy”? Then again, she isn’t married, she isn’t taken or possess a significant other, and under any circumstances there exists no real reason for her not to have a relation with a man if she chooses. Food for thought, for I predict that an average man or woman in this day and age would call said female as a whore or slut; even my own mother did so, and declared she was also ashamed of me.

So, my point in this reflection is this: women and men have relations simply because they want to. One cannot be judged for having such relations, for its between two people whose feelings do not get hurt, and who have full honesty and truth put forward in the extent of the relations. Whether that be a friends with benefits type of relation or a one-night stand, humans are beings of passion and love and warmth and embrace; don’t deny who you are. It doesn’t make you any less of a man or a woman to have relations with someone…

…as long as no one gets hurt. For when people get hurt, that right and wrong debate comes into play. When no one gets hurt, its not exactly right, but there is no ground for it to be wrong. But when someone’s feelings do get hurt, or when a man treats a woman wrong or when a woman treats a man wrong, the relation is wrong.

A.N. Lopez

 

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